A lot of times I write as a way to express what I feel I have been learning and feel led to share with somebody. If I find that through writing then I write, but a lot of times I can find that outlet elsewhere. Hence, my lack of posting as often as I would like. It's not laziness, it's lack of motivation.
When I got to college I started this blog as a way to share and sort out the things that the Lord was teaching me and the experiences I was having. It was a good way to adjust for me.
After two years at college, I now have godly, encouraging friends who I can talk to when I need perspective or to sort my thoughts out. I have a job with my college in student leadership, my studies, friendships, and my church family to help me keep things in perspective, which is why I haven't really become "regular" in my blogging.
Of course there is a reason why I am writing this post then, when I have countless other things to be doing (just kidding, I am not busy in the least this weekend).
In a couple months I will be taking on a new adventure as an RA, and then a year from now I will be graduating. I've been in prayer, read my assigned books, and emailed back and forth with my RD, and it's all becoming very real. Not only will this be my last year at school, but I will be responsible for the safety of forty girls. This is why I need to write. This is when I need to sort my thoughts into order and watch paragraphs from. And, thankfully end.
College girls say and do some crazy things. They still cry about MANY things. New challenges, obstacles, hardships, and trials arise on a daily basis. As an SLD on my hall last year, these are things that I have come to understand are a part of life on a girl's hall. I try to take them in stride. I want to be more sensitive to them going into the new school year. I want to build trust with the girls on my hall. I want to know where they are spiritually.
Even more so, I'm excited/sad that next year will be my Senior year. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed by the bittersweet of it. So many good things will be left behind, but even better things to anticipate. But, I know that some of the things that were good during those four years, will continue to be good then. But what will my life look like after graduation?
I don't know.
There is a great temptation to try and figure out what the future will look like, to analyze every possible outcome, to spend more time planning my life then living it. Giving more energy towards avoid undesired outcomes then pursuing the only outcome that really matters.
Thankfully, I have another option...
"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act."
There is so much about the future that I don't know, and sometimes the weight of that can seem too heavy. But I don't have to carry that burden anymore. As I follow Christ, he will direct me where I need to go in due time.
If you feel like this sometimes, take a look at Psalm 37:3-7. I think you'll like what you see.