Me, Lord?


“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” James 1:5-8

Man, did this verse speak to me or what.  

I have been struggling recently about trying to decide what church I want to call my "home" for the next two years (or more) that I will be here at school.  Notice I said "decide" not "find", because I have actually found two that I like very much.  

I have been weighing out the pros and cons and have attended both since I've been back and definitely have done a LOT of praying about it.  And I am happy to say that the Lord finally placed one of the churches on my heart.

The church I am deciding to call my "home" for at least the next two years preaches the Gospel every Sunday like nobody's business.  They are extremely passionate about missions, which is something that I also hold very close to my heart.  

I also plan on starting to volunteer with the pre-schoolers during one of the services, because I really want to get involved and meet the people of the church.  

There is one con though.  They don't have a Youth Ministry.  This was one of the reasons that I wasn't so sure about calling this church my home.  I wanted to go to a church that had a youth ministry so that I could volunteer and learn from great men and women of God who have a burden for teenagers just as I do.  But then I had one of those "Duh" moments from God.  

What if I am one of the people to start a youth ministry within this church?  I feel so nervous thinking about it because I know how inadequate and unprepared that I am, but I know that if it is God's will for me to help in getting a youth ministry started, then by God's grace He will equip me to meet the needs of my church along the way.

"God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called."

"Go in this might of yours, and you shall save Israel from the hand of the Midianites.  Have I not sent you?"  Judges 6:14

"For nothing is impossible with God."  Luke 1:37

My Heart


When I started this blog, I knew I wanted to talk about sexual purity.  It is something that I am very passionate about, that God placed on my heart at quite a young age.  But to be honest, it is quite frightening to post my personal convictions and opinions on the Internet for the whole world to see.  I remember reading my first book about purity with my mom and some very close friends when I was fourteen years old.  Reading this book and other books and stories since then about couples who have waited and their journey of purity have been such an encouragement for me.  

I have been nervous about some of my previous posts, that they might offend someone.  I've honestly almost deleted some of my latest posts, scared because I felt as if I was being so open and vulnerable about what I believe, and scared that I would upset someone.  But then I thought and prayed about it.  I didn't delete those posts... I couldn't.  I knew that the Lord wanted me to share my story and passions, and I needed (and still do) need to cast all my cares on Him and learn to trust Him fully.  I know that the Lord wants me to be willing to stand alone in this fight.  He wants me to be faithful to what I believe and to take a stand, in prayer that someone may be encouraged by what the Lord is teaching me and doing in my life.

Yes, I still have fear.  I have several close friends that have made the same commitment as me, read multiple books on the topic of purity, and have heard the beautiful stories of older women that waited till marriage for physical intimacy.  I still wonder, what if no one agrees with me here on the Internet?  What if I'm one of the only ones who is taking this stand?  But, I'm going to do it anyway.  Because of I seek to please God, not man.  Galatians 1:10 is one of my favorite verses.  "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."  I still wonder though.  Are there still women out there that have made the same commitment I have?

At thirteen years old, I made the commitment to God and my future husband to stay pure until marriage.  I committed to pray for my future husband and to live a life of purity.  I knew then that I was choosing the "narrow" path, and that there may be times that I was all alone on this walk.  Even though I was young I knew that I was defying what most girls my age were doing, I knew that it could be a very long wait for God's timing, and I knew it wasn't going to always be easy or fun.  I knew I may feel alone in my choices at times, which I most certainly have.  But I also knew that the Lord would be with me each step of the way and if I waited on His perfect timing, it would be better.

When someone makes the choice to go against the flow and choose the harder path, it requires bravery and fearlessness.  I made that choice six years ago and it's not the easiest, most fun, or popular way.  But it is the best way and it is worth it.  And although there are times on this journey where I have felt alone, they are far outweighed by the number of times that I know and feel that I am never alone.

I thank the Lord daily for the friends He has blessed me with that have made the same decision as me and are always there supporting me.  I pray that this will be able to be a community of fully committed women of God that can encourage each other in this pursuit of purity.  There have been so many times that I have read blogs of stories of Christian married women who have waited and have told how worth the wait it was.  Maybe we can also encourage our brothers in Christ as well to continue to faithfully wait for their future wives.  It's only been a month since I have started this blog, and so many friends and family have already told me how encouraged they were by it, and I give all the glory to my Heavenly Father.  

And to any of you girls that have made the same commitment I have, you are not alone.  

Ladies, this long hard wait will be worth it one day, if we are patient and wait on the Lord's perfect timing.  Every time we flirt or have any kind of physical intimacy with a man, we are giving away a piece of our heart that our future husband will never be able to have.  

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.  Ephesians 5:3

When we realize that the Lord is pursuing us and He is the lover of our souls, it makes striving for physical and mental purity so much easier.

May you be encouraged and inspired today to keep running towards a lifestyle of purity, to save sex for the beautiful thing that it is in marriage, and to trust Jesus with your purity.  No one is perfect and we all fail often.  But we can rest in His grace and know that if He is not giving it to use right now, then it is probably not good for us.  

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
    the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
    from those who walk uprightly.

Psalm 84:11

May you cling fast to Jesus today, who saves sinners and gives us everything we need in at the perfect time.  

Trust in Him.  He won't let you down.

I am thankful today.
Because God gave me the courage to write this and to soon press publish in a few mere seconds.  
He graciously gives me all things I need.

Let love, strength, grace, and fearlessness in our Lord Jesus Christ be yours today.